Weekly Devotion: We Just Disagree
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“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.
-Matthew 18:15
Every so often, I get this earworm of a song from the 1970s. I find it odd that I can remember it so clearly because I was only 7 or 8 when the song came out. The song is “We Just Disagree” by British singer Dave Mason. It was a top 20 hit on the radio in 1977. We Just Disagree seems to be about either friends or lovers who realize that they don’t see things eye to eye like they used to. The part of the song that I remember is the chorus:
So let's leave it alone 'cause we can't see eye to eye
There ain't no good guy, there ain't no bad guy
There's only you and me and we just disagree
I think about that chorus a lot these days when it seems more and more in our nation, we don’t see things eye to eye. On social media, someone showed footage in the aftermath of the Gulf War and commented on how that was one of the last times we seemed to come together as a nation. The other time was in the days and weeks following the September 11 attacks. Even as diverse a culture as the United States is, we have in the past learned to hold things in common. But that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. Our culture is one where we don’t have things in common anymore. We view each other as enemies to be defeated.
The text in Matthew 18 is not the most exciting text. Jesus seems to be taking on conflict management instead of the bigger issues of grace or justice. It helps to read Matthew 18:1-14 to get a better understanding of the text. When you read the stories about not causing others to stumble or the parable of the lost sheep, a picture emerges that isn’t just about how to handle conflict, but about how to be community. Pointing out sin or division first between the offender and offended and then moving on to a bigger group and finally dismissal are all about how to remain a community of grace and love. Even when someone is recalcitrant and Jesus says that one should be treated as a Gentile or tax collector, the message is to love them and hope for reconciliation. That’s a far cry from these days when we are so quick to cut people off.
Jesus’ words are addressed towards communities and the danger these days is that too many of us think we don’t need community. Writing in the Atlantic, Daniel K. Williams looks at what happens when Americans, especially conservative evangelicals stop going to church. The answer is troubling. When people drop out of church, they hold on to their politics every more tightly. “...without a church community, in many cases, the nation’s political system becomes their church—and the results are polarizing. They bring whatever moral and social values they acquired from their church experience and then apply those values in the political sphere with an evangelical zeal,” he writes. Church has been the thing that cooled the passions and brought people together. As people leave the pews, they are finding other things to fill their “god-shaped” hole that tend to drive people apart.
“We are not enemies, but friends.” That’s what President Lincoln said in his Inaugural address in March of 1861. By that time the storm clouds of war were thick and in a month’s time, the Confederacy would attack Fort Sumpter in South Carolina and start the Civil War. Even in this challenging time when a just war was imminent, Lincoln wanted to stress the bonds of friendship and not seek to break bonds.
The church is called to be a place where those who are in the wrong can be corrected, but it is done in the context of a community where God through Jesus preached love and grace as well as righteousness.
In a time when the social fabric is frayed and where there are people who seek to unloosen the ties between us even more, we need to look at Matthew 18 and strive for justice AND reconciliation. May we find ways to live like Jesus and be communities that can move beyond disagreements.
-Dennis Sanders, Pastor