Lenten Reflection- Epic Fails
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Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and put a new and right spirit within me.
-Psalm 51:10
About a decade ago, a pastor decided to put on what he called “The Epic Fail Pastors Conference.” J.R Briggs, who was then a pastor and blogger in Pennsylvania, was the force behind the conference. It started because of a blog post he wrote in 2010 about his weariness of attending conferences featuring “successful” pastors. He shared how he felt after those events concluded:
I’m a big fan of learning from wise women and men who have led their congregations well. But 94.3% of pastors who’ve attended these conferences (or somewhere around that number) walk away feeling guilty, insecure or feeling like utter failures. It leaves attendees feeling as though they can’t possibly relate to the speakers on the platform. It can breed insecurity and comparison. Or, maybe worse, we walk away thinking we’ve found the silver bullet, the key concept, the perfect model that we can rush home and implement immediately. We’ve been convinced that the key method/approach/model/style will unlock the reason why our church isn’t doubling in attendance every three and a half months like the guy we heard share on stage. Sometimes pastors’/church leaders’ conferences slowly and persuasively convince that I – we – are the head of our church. Last I checked, Jesus is the head of it.
But seriously, what if there was an EPIC FAIL Pastors’ Conference (with the tag line “Where leaders put their worst foot forward“)?
He realized that the thought of an Epic Fail Conference was popular. For several years meetings were across the country were pastors came from near and far to share their stories of failure.
Pastors are loathed to admit failure. We don't like to look like a complete ass in front of others. We feel that we always have to have an answer to life's questions. And we don't ever tell people when we come up short. I should know because I’ve lived with failure as a pastor. I planted a church that ended up failing. Over the last year as we worshipped apart, I’ve been dealt with this sense of failure as a pastor and failing the congregation. But the fact is we are human and more than likely we will fail at something. I’m not sharing this to talk about myself. The reason I’m sharing this is that we all feel like failures at some point. We come up short. We mess up. We sin.
In this season of Lent, we are reminded of our frailty and sin as humans. Psalm 51, which we normally read on Ash Wednesday, is where King David fesses up to God about his failure. His failure was a big one. It included sleeping with another man’s wife (and many believe he was guilty of rape) and murder. But he comes to God fessing up his sin and asking God to make him clean.
The thing about Lent is that it holds up a mirror to us and reminds us that we aren’t perfect. We are reminded that we must rely on God for our salvation. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me,” David says in Psalm 51. David asks for God to make him righteous because only God can make him clean.
We will make mistakes. We will fall short and fail. We will sin. But the thing we can look forward to is that we have a God that is ready to forgive and cleanse us.
Lent is a time when we are reminded of our epic fails. I thank God I don’t have to deal with my failures alone.